How To Dismantle An Atomic toilet
By JoeBruin88. Filed in Humor |Tags: house, Humor
Awakened by nature’s call at 5:15 AM. “Hmmm, must have been the pizza. Ate too much again.” Good ole tomato sauce. It definitely is a good laxative, kinda like beans in a burito or the spicy red salsa that comes in your carne asada at Mr. Taco. In any case, having only three hours of sleep is not exactly what I had planned for my Saturday morning and neither was the call of chunky diarrhea.
“I think I’ll go dark.” No need in turning on the light when it’s still pitch black outside. “I’ll give my eyes a rest while I do my business.”
… Thinking back to how this toilet seems to have been having a problem of getting clogged lately … “I’ll have time to get up and plunge this thing, no worries.”
A few seconds later, “Shit!” No kidding. Except now it’s on the carpet (why the previous owners put carpet in all the bathrooms, I will never know), along with the toilet water. “Nooooo!!!!. ” Man, this is so disgusting and gross. It smells like crap! No duh. Great. Toilet water and feces are on the carpet and on my socks.
“Josephine?” Stirs from her sleep, after all it’s only 5:30 in the morning. “The toilet overflowed. And there’s crap on the carpet. Can you help me?”
So began our morning. I originally wanted to sleep in until at least 8 or 9, have breakfast, and then tackle my spreadsheet problems for school. But no. I had to use towels to soak as much crap and water as possible. Then I did laundry. The I cleaned the toilet. Then I took a shower. Then I spot cleaned the carpet.
Josephine called some emergency plumbing and cleaning numbers. $500!!!! You’ve got to be kidding. It’s just a bathroom. Fortunately, the carpet cleaners who did a really good job last fall had an emergency service. The guy did the job for us on the side for $185. But it was still a rip off. We are doing the drying ourselves.
Then I took a nap.
Monday, January 31st 2005 at 9:47 am
That’s so gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!